OCCUPATION: ACTOR

OTHER TALENTS: SINGING, RIDING MOTORBIKES, WEARING KILTS, BEING HOT

BEST FEATURE: SMILE

BEST FILM: A LIFE LESS ORDINARY

WORST FILM: A TIE BETWEEN BLUE JUICE AND EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

I first noticed Ewan on the MTV Movie Awards in either 2002 or 2003. I had just been through a rough break up and apparently I needed some beautiful Scotsman to come into my life. A combination of loneliness and eyeliner sealed the deal. After the show was over, I leapt off the couch and ran straight into my office to find out everything I could about Ewan McGregor.

What ensued became all-consuming. I filled my computer up with photos of the grinning man and rented everything I could find that he had been in. Most notably, I made myself known to the good people at Family Video for checking out A Life Less Ordinary so often.

I discovered the gem that is the Pillow Book simply because I knew that he was naked in it. My first viewing of it wasn't exactly pleasant, as I had to keep the sound so low that my mom wouldn't come down and scream at me for watching porn.

A testament to the strength of this obsession is the fact that I drove 40 miles to a library that carried the first televised thing Ewan was ever in. Lipstick on Your Collar was a fucking mess, but Ewan's in a decent portion of it, dressed as Elvis in a lot of scenes.

I also rewatched Trainspotting because the skinnier Ewan was(I don't really think this anymore) the better. Seeing this movie again compelled me to read the book by Irvine Welsh. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as it is more disturbing than the movie, but it inspired me to learn and use some great Scottish slang.