I know you all thought that I'd hit my all-time shame low when I put foam letters spelling out "I *heart* Clay" on my roommate's car and drove to Cleveland to meet a perfect stranger who had a ticket for the American Idols Live show. That ain't nothin'!

Tonight, after getting home from remedial math (I'm totally not kidding here), vacuuming, watching American Idol and making up a shopping list, Leah and I drove to Meijer's to pick up supplies. For what, you ask. For signs, for the Clay concert on Thursday.

Yes, I, a 24 year old with a degree (Magna Cum Laude, BITCHES!!!) in English bought glue sticks (blue); posterboard (white); markers (50)and ribbon (for giving our signs handles). I also bought a T-shirt to make a new LBFCA shirt for the show.

As soon as we got home, I got to work. For me, a good concert sign is about getting Clay to notice you. I have seen enough concert videos to know that you can become momentarily famous for a good sign. You might even be mentioned in a radio interview, as was the sign that said "Clay is female Viagra". I most definitely wanna be that guy. So I've been thinking about this little project for awhile and these are the signs I came up with.

This was inspired by Clay's answer to the burning question, What do you look for in a girlfriend?

This comes from Clay's William Hung impression on Entertainment Tonight. Also, it seems like someone tried this a couple nights ago and got a response, but no dancing. Perhaps the double entendre will spark a need to dance in him. Perhaps he will take me up on my offer and bring me onstage...or backstage...

I thought I'd save this last bit for last, since it's the most entertaining. A while back, in October, I had a picture on my diary depicting a near theft. Tonight, I crossed the line. Leah and I were wandering aimlessly in the computer area of Meijer's and I spotted one of those square posters advertising Ruben's album. When I see Ruben, I think Clay. So I walk over there and begin checking behind the other posters. Then I see it, a sliver of that tell-tale blue. Blam! A pristine, square promotional Measure of a Man poster. What do I do? Unbutton my coat. Stick it under my arm and carry it around with me for the next half an hour until we leave. It's a little bent, but it's mine. So thank you Clay, for making me a thief.

Here is a re-enactment of the deed.

Also, I'm not going to sleep tonight. I've realized that if I go to bed, I will not go to class tomorrow. And by not going to class, I will miss out on seeing PG for another week. I must ask him out!