Today was a good day. I once again bent under the pressure of the idea that if I didn�t plan my own birthday I wouldn�t get one. I�m going to let you in on a little secret; I am a miserable person if I don�t get the birthday recognition I think I deserve. On my 22nd birthday, I decided not to plan anything, leave it up to someone else for once�I bet you can guess what happened. I was miserable and unhappy. This year, what the party lacked in numbers, it made up for in hilarity.

The party began slowly, with milling about the cheese tray I so intelligently put together. No cheddar here baby! Havarti and Gouda and some Carr�s Biscuits for Cheese. I also bought some Arbor Mist. Let me digress a moment here. I know Arbor Mist is crappy and not really wine. That is what sets me apart from others who drink it. I know it�s crappy, but it�s cheap, goes down easy and gets the job done for $7.00. Cheesy Bratwursts were brought, and I marinated some chicken in spicy peanut sauce.

This is when the fun begins; at the grill. My friend Joe, being a man, loves fire. He, also stemming from the whole manhood thing, thinks that he should be the one to run the grill even though it�s at my parents� house. A scuffle ensues over the matches. This results in greasy arms, which results in another scuffle while trying to wipe grease onto each other.

While emptying the bratwursts onto a plate, a big idea sprouted in Joe�s head. I know this because I was the target of this idea.

�Hey! Taste the sausage juice!�

�No!�

�Come on! It�s good!�

�No way! Get that away from me!�

�The cat will taste it. Look! He likes it!�

�Of course he does. That cat licks his own butt crack.�

�You would too if you could.�

My birthday parties tend to have an air of the adventure about them. Last year, while playing kickball, it began to pour. We all looked at each other, and like old mash mouth football players, decided that the game should be finished no matter what. Actually, it�s really fricking fun to play in the rain if it�s warm enough�So this year we decided to eat outside even though it was really windy. We put up the patio umbrella and sat out there. Despite a few bugs that seemed determined that Nichole would not enjoy her meal, all went well.

After eating, it was decided that there was way too much extra bread from the brat buns left. This extra bread should be used in a responsible and if possible, charitable manner. It was decided that it should be thrown. At someone. Standard food fight ensues with Louisiana Hot Sauce soaked buns. At one point, I was running to retrieve a bun to launch at Joe, when he tackled me. I was shuddering with laughter and was incapacitated on the grass. I also didn�t see the next projectile coming. It was a Cheezy Bratwurst. It detonated on my hip and (get this) split into two parts, each flying in opposite directions. This was enough to pin me to the ground with the most painful laughter ever. I was kicking my feet and holding my gut.

Now for the gifts received:

*An awesome CD Alarm Clock from Leah. Apparently, people can hear my current staticy clock radio in the alley. Now they can hear Clay at 9AM and like it!

*Another alarm clock. There was no disappointment though, because this alarm clock, having come from Joe, Nichole and John, had to have a twist. It is a purple Todd Oldham Dorm Room Alarm Clock that has these two buttons on the top that control old style flaps inside. On the flaps are words. Not just any words though. It is possible to make the following word combinations with this function: **Eat Nuts**,**Rat Head**, **Bite Me**, **Blow Me**, **Tiny Bust**, and **Ride Me**

*A Target Gift Card

*Money from Joe�s Parents

Till next time,

Kelly