This time, however, I'm leaving for five days to be eaten by bears and cowboys in Yellowstone National Park/Cody, Wyoming. This trip is ill-conceived, ill-planned and terrifying to me. I'd love to say I'm super jazzed to see Old Faithful, and all that other crap, but at the moment, I'm just worried about whether they'll let me have my rental car. Still, mountains, rodeos and geysers sound amazing to me as I sit in my dinky living room drinking beers like they were water.