The first, and while the circumstances may change, I still think this is an important revelatory step, is that someone that I genuinely like and am attracted to (in nearly all the ways possible except magnetically...maybe I should test that out) seems to be attracted to me in several ways. He seems to like my physical self just as it is. This is huge for me. I'm not particularly confident about my body, but this guy makes me feel unabashed. I'm squishy. My arms are big. I wear a size 11 shoe. If all signs are right, all this shit is A-okay. He doesn't seem to mind that I am smart. In fact, I think we both like that we're equally matched for wits.

Secondly, liking someone new is just fantastic. Slowly discovering their life feels like a treasure hunt. And for some reason, I'm not anxious if I find a skeleton. In fact, that makes me want to lead him to a skeleton of my own.

Leah told me tonight that she's never heard me say the following thing about ANYTHING, especially not a human being, she was snarky enough to add: "It�s just easy." There may be all of this obsessive cleaning of the house, and making sure my underwear matches and that I've showered, but once he shows up, the job's over. I just talk the fucking crazy blue streak in my head and it's OK. And while I might worry that I should have kissed him, or something, nothing wrong ever happens. As soon as I know he's coming over, or I know I'm meeting him, I relax, put my fingers through my hair and grin. Because, a night with this guy is always going to be fun.

I don't want to give anyone the impression that I'm getting my hopes up. If this person disappears, I know (because he has gone completely AWOL in the past) that it has nothing to do with me. I love interacting with him, but I've decided that I'm not going to push it. He's busy, and well, I should be busier.

Contributing to all of this is my increased activity in the local music scene. If I'm not a chicken-shit tomorrow night, I'll actually say hello to my favorite local band. But no matter what, I'll thoroughly enjoy their set tomorrow, in a way that I feel I few people do. I'm not too cool to talk about music I like all the time. I may shut up about a guy I like, but God help you if I like a new band. You're gonna fucking hear about them.

So picture me, slightly inebriated, smiling at my screen. That's me for the past month or so. While my classes are just going mediocrely, I feel like my social life has finally bloomed in a way that is fun, easy and fruitful.

Happy Easter everyone,