Friday morning couldn't have arrived sooner for Leah and I. You see, our lives have taken a turn for the worse lately, and we were really looking forward to a weekend outside of the shitty cornhole (TM Melissa) that is Detroit. We loaded our shit into the car and headed out. For Blockbuster. To return a video. And then inside University Foods to get protein bars and oatmeal pies. Then we were off. To the gas station. And finally headed down I-75 toward Columbus, Ohio.

The trip there was filled with the outpouring of anger at the various things that had pissed us off in the recent past. But it was soon erased by listening to the Cabaret soundtrack, featuring Alan Cumming. I'll save the A.C. love for another entry, but suffice to say, if he makes an appearance in my diary, then it's obsession in its purest form.

Here's a bit of advice: There is an easier way to Columbus than US-23. Continue on down I-75 South to US-15, which is much faster and features fewer meat stores and tractor sales.

But let's not dwell on the negative. Leah and I arrived at Kat's house around 2:30 PM. Melissa, Robin and Erin were already there. Hugs were exchanged. They offered their help with my vast amount of luggage. We were also treated to the embarrassment of Robin seeing our toaster oven in our trunk. But what else can you do but laugh when someone says, "Hey! Are we broiling salmon tonight?!"

When we got in, it was like we had been coming over to Kat's our entire lives. We plopped our shit down, took off our shoes and talked. After awhile Kat tentatively offered us some Sangria in a box, which she fondly called Shitty Sangria. It was in no way shitty. And the spigot thingie looked like it was peeing Sangria into your cup!

It turned out that Wendy's flight would be delayed until around 8 PM that night, so there was really nothing left to do besides sit around and enjoy each other's company. We, of course popped online a few times just to check our email. We should have realized that anyone who might be emailing us was probably in the room.

In the early evening, Kat announced that she had the supplies for making North Carolina BBQ, corn on the cob, biscuits and rolls. She had picked up some sauce while she was in NC and now it was time to see what Clay was raving about. I marinated the meat, which looked a lot like bloody body parts on a charming serving platter. I'm forever immortalized on the LBFCA guestbook as the creep who's touching the meat. Ah well, I'd rather be that than unknown.

We also found out during dinner preparations that Erin had never shucked corn in her life. In fact, she seemed quite put off by the idea of doing so. Leah, proving herself to be the farm-girl in disguise, laughed at her and ripped the husks off those suckers, earning herself a 4-H blue ribbon.

All the while, poor Odin, Kat's famous cat, was perpetually avoiding us like the plague. Who can blame him for running away from five cooing women with outstretched talons?

Kat fired up the grill and proclaimed that she didn't "do meat" and gave the grill over to me. I gladly accepted. I am rarely offered the opportunity to grill without interference from my indecisive father. I wielded those tongs like a pro, and no one second guessed my decisions. Ah, the authority of the grill.

When we sat down at Kat's patio table, it felt like eating with family. I seriously almost expected to say grace. We proceeded to chow on the vinegary goodness that is North Carolina BBQ and chat. The cool thing was that we discussed things that were serious and totally non-Clay related. Like a family. Like good friends.

Stay tuned for Part Two.