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Vegas Broadfest Part One

2004-03-31 11:58 a.m.

At 4 AM, my alarm rang. I awoke, knowing that in a mere 1 and a half hours I would be in a cab headed to Detroit Metro Airport. I moved slowly toward the shower, feeling a little sick to my stomach. I used my back-up shampoo, conditioner and bodywash because I packed up the good stuff. Ten minutes later, I peeked into Leah's room to find her awake, but saying "blarg".

Blarg indeed. It doesn't feel so great to get three hours of sleep before a trip that you know will exhaust you. While Leah showered, I putzed endlessly to ensure that I had everything ready. We then sat on the couch making irritated noises, waiting for the cabbie to call. At the buzz of the phone, we kissed the kitties goodbye and went out the door, me loaded up like a fucking pack mule.

When we got our boarding passes we were pissed to discover a honking big C. You see, Southwest has first come first serve seating. A "C" meant that we were in the last line to go in. We spent the next hour bitching about being in the "potted meat" line.

It turns out that we had nothing to worry about. When we got on the plane there were two seats next to each other, they weren't window seats, but still.

Once in our seats, it was time to be asshats. As soon as we were able we began taking pictures with my digital camera and uploading them into the laptop. Here are a few:

Yeah I'm surprised no one killed us, since it was 7:30AM. The fun soon wore off and we both began sleeping uncomfortably.

Our flight was actually early to arrive in Vegas. On the ramp to the airport we found ourselves basking in sunlight. We began to make noises that only tundra-dwelling creatures can in the warm Nevada sun. One of the airport employees actually asked us, "Where are you from, Alaska!?" We might as well be.

Our flight was so early that it hadn't shown up on the baggage claim monitors yet, so we figured out where the Delta carousel was as that was the designated meeting place. In the distance, I saw Erin. I yelled her name and we screamed and ran toward each other. We embraced and jumped up and down. A proper scene had been created. Robin was next. We hugged and I squashed her tiny body, just as I told her I would. After a few minutes, I looked over at her and she was wiping her eyes. Robin may be sick, but she's got a good heart too.

I greeted the other Broads while we stood around the city we had made of luggage. We then waited for the rest of our party to arrive. It was sometime during this wait that Erin and Robin stood in front of me and told me that they had been waiting all day to meet me. That statement made me feel so much love. God, I love those fucks!

Audra arrived next. I ran up to her and hugged her pregnant ass. Audra was an unexpected find for me. Had I never gone on my last Vegas trip, I would have never known the sick twisted love that we have.

Wendy came last. Heh. I accosted her and promised her that she would indeed be singing "Solitaire" in her low voice whether she liked it or not. She grinned demurely at me. Kati, Susanne and Sheri all got their gushy hugs too. Our caravan of women headed toward the shuttle station. We stowed our luggage and climbed on board. I felt sorry for the non-Broad passengers, as they had to listen to the cackling nightmare that we had become.

The shrieking, pointing, squealing and photographing was not to last long though, as the Westward Ho was on the horizon.

I have to admit that I didn't make the connection right away. Somehow I thought that the seedy looking MOTOR LODGE next to the casino had to be another hotel. The Westward Ho was HERE, not THERE. We stood outside in the sun and I finally had to go in the bathroom and change. I did not have enough foresight to change out of my leather shoes and red chenille socks. Give me a break, I'm from Michigan. With the tiara perched on my head and a little make-up on my face (as you will see in some of the photos, the make up did me no good), I scampered out to the rest of the Broads.

To be continued�

Kelly

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