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Vegas Part One

2003-11-24 12:57 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I�ve been back from Vegas for a week and this is the first time I�ve had time to sit and write my story.

Thursday night it really hit me. I was going to be riding in a multi-ton flying contraption thousands of miles from my home. Alone. I kept getting sinking feelings and sweaty palms and the trip was still hours away. I was convinced that if I laid down to sleep I would not awake on time to make my flight. I resolved to stay awake the entire night. I was successful, biding my time by photoshopping Clay pictures for my desktop. Leah, intelligently, laid down for a four hour nap while I wrung my hands over the pixels in Clay�s hair.

At 4:30AM, I woke her up. I got my last minute stuff together and we were on the road toward Metro Airport. I was so exhausted, it was difficult to be nervous anymore. Once inside the airport, Leah was kind enough to stay with me until it was time for me to go through security. We hugged and I bravely walked up to the X-ray machines. I took my shoes off, as I was sure they would set off the metal detectors. I passed through in less than five minutes. First worry�over.

Next, I found my gate. Then the waiting began. I tried to calmly look at a magazine but found it impossible to concentrate on anything, even the delightful Mr. Golden Delicious.

Soon I was in the A line for seats. We began to move forward. In the tunnel I went. On the metal bird I went. Into my window seat just in front of the engine I sat. I gathered my little comforting items around me; my walkman, magazines, a Stephen Hawking book and some Tums.

As soon as the plane took off, I knew I had fallen in love with flying. I could not stop looking out the window at the tiny squares of land below. The majesty of it all was making me emotional, which felt dumb because there was no one to share it with. I soon did what I thought I wouldn�t be capable of doing: sleeping on the plane. I drifted in and out of consciousness; each time I woke I began staring anew at the surreal landscape below me.

When I arrived at the Las Vegas airport, I was feeling fine. I called Danielle and Tony on my ancient cell phone and waited for my baggage to arrive. Then as I finished playing my first Vegas slot, I spotted them. A tall, thin redhead holding hands with boisterous beautiful brunette. I ran to them we hugged and Tony carried my luggage. We hopped in a cab and headed to the Orleans�

Let me just tell you, everything in Vegas has to have a theme. I think it�s a city ordinance. The Orleans was (big surprise) Mardi Gras themed. There were frightening masks like this�.

Everywhere.

I met and hugged Karen in front of the hotel. Finally I had met the supremely generous woman who had given me frequent flier miles and paid for my hotel room. We all jabbered like maniacs, an occurrence that would not stop until I left early Sunday morning.

Upstairs I met Julie, who added her voice to the mania. I gave Karen her thank you gift and found out that Karen adored the very scent I bought for her! YAY!

We all hustled down to the buffet to eat, there we met up with Audra. Now I had not even thought about Audra being on this trip, truthfully. We had never talked online, so there was no preconceptions about her. Let me just say that I found her to be delightful and hilarious.

At the buffet, I�m sure we frightened a few families. We were cackling like ninnies and inserting Clay into every possible situation we could think of. One of my favorites: Imagine Clay dressed up in the Fame outfit. Ripped shirt, leg warmers, water�then him doing the dance. Sounds stupid in print. A sure laugh getter in person. Especially when you act it out.

Off we went to the New York, New York hotel. There is a fricking roller coaster in this thing. Which, we, of course rode. Tony and Danielle had ridden it before so they knew where the camera was. They made it a point to do jazz hands for the picture. Audra and I just looked like people with below average IQs.

Then there was laser tag. It was the cheapest thing in Vegas at five dollars a person. Danielle, Tony, Audra and myself paid and walked into the �briefing room�. There we watched a video that was designed to instruct us and make us feel like we were going on a real mission. Because we are asschapeaux, we just guffawed at it, even while the unfortunate soul supervising the thing was standing there. Tony decided that he wanted me, the violent butch chick on his team rather than his girlfriend. Danielle, being who she is, vowed to show him the error of his choice.

We suited up, and ran inside the semi-dark, fiberboard constructed course. I decided that I would be the crazy fearless one who was willing to risk being shot to gain a strategic position. Tony would hold his ground from a good shooting point. Danielle and Audra chose to be just really fucking good at killing us. I�m not sure how many times I was shot in the back, it�s probably too embarrassing to reveal even if I did know. I broke most of the rules, by crawling and falling on the floor in fright when Danielle scared the shit out of me in the tunnels.

The moment of truth arrived when we looked at our scores. Leaping about like a maniac did not help me. I came in last. Tony had not picked well. Danielle beat us all! Ha! Who says a chick in lipstick, fashionable shoes with flatironed hair can�t kick some ass?

Much of Friday evening was spent in the airport waiting for Kat and Melissa to arrive. It was here that my largest win of the weekend occurred. Ten dollars folks!! You�d have thought it was the Second Coming! I promptly divvyed it up between Danielle, Tony and myself. We, of course, lost it all. Oh well.

While waiting for them in the airport, we all got a little stir crazy. There are these big video monitors set up with ads for all the shows in Vegas showing. When you�re there for over an hour�you begin to see repeats. Lets just say many a disgusting lyric was made up to the tune of some opera song I don�t know the name of.

Melissa, Kat and I caught a cab back to the Orleans and Tony and Danielle headed to New York, New York. I have never been so frightened in a car as when I was in the back of that cab. The cabbie, who�s name shall forever be �Feck�, was not too happy when he saw a traffic jam ahead. He uttered the word, �feck� and then pulled up onto the shoulder to get around the mess. I had my eyes closed most of the time, and Melissa was giggling out of terror. When Feck finally reached the open road, he put the pedal to the metal. We flew so fast over a bump that the car got air, with three passengers and our luggage! Scary scary shit.

To be continued�

-Kelly

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