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Tall AND Fat

2003-07-15 1:14 a.m.

Dear Diary,

As much as I'd like this entry to be about Clay Aiken, I can't think of anything coherent or creative enough to put here. It would probably be something like this:

OMG! Can you believe that Jersey Clutch! He better do that at the shows I'm going to! Wow, his hair is just so cute! If I meet him I will totally die!

See? Now you know why my entry can't be about him. Sorry Clay fans. Don't think I don't still love him as much as ever; it's just that "at this moment" I can't write intelligently about him.

Onward.

So I was thinking the other day, while in the shower about how it sucks to be tall and fat. Now before all my friends simultaneously yell, "You're not fat!", just shut up and listen to the funny! You see, short and fat works and tall and thin works, but where does tall and fat get ya? Weirdsville, that's where. It just looks unnatural to have this tall body that's also kinda wide.

Another example of the tall and fat syndrome can be seen in my 9th grade Social Sciences teacher, Mr. Lucas. This guy didn't earn the unfortunate nickname "bowling pin" for nothing. He had this small, long head, fat middle and long legs. He also had the self-distructive habit of sitting on a stool with his leg underneath his but so that everytime he stood up, there was a big chalky footprint on his ass. Way to go Bowling Pin! My friend Mike and I used to stand at the opposite end of the hall and pretend we were bowling. No one else laughed.

I really don't know where that was supposed to be going, but this is where it is ending...

Kelly

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